Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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