i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
