I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
