Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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