went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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