Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
