I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
