We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
