There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
