But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
