hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
