Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
