I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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