I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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