Your tits are I can't wait for
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
