Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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