She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
