im gay
i know
yea but for you.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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