thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Jerry, you need to find god
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
