this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
