she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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