Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
