whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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