Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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