4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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