I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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