YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
