She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
