Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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