I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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