3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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