I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
