Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
