i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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