it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Vodka?
Forever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
