Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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