mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
