easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
