after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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