So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
