i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
