This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
