Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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