I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
