Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
