I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
