wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just cut my nipple shaving
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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