he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
