She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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