she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
