So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
