We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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