Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
