I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
