she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
