I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
