someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
